Designer labels for Target can sell out pretty fast, if not completely, on the very day they’re released. I recall that when Missoni arrived, it might as well have been black Friday, for I found myself partaking in both a holiday and behavior that I swore I never would. Here are some tips and tricks to circumvent the mania-mob mentality, acquire your most coveted items, and leave the experience unscathed, without so much as a scratch to either your physical or mental state– not that you would get beaten up by others, although that is no doubt possible, but, more so, because you beat up yourself during your post factum examination of your in-store behavior (flashback to you and total stranger pulling clothes, and hair, over the last said designer dud– so what if it’s just a scrunchie, it’s BURBERRY for God’s sake!), only to come away from the experience with the shameful realization that “Yeah, maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on Jodi Arias.”
Tips to beating out the crowd for Target’s designer duds:
1) There’s the usual tactic: Get in line early and wait. Insert self-talk: “Get outta my way bitch that shoe is MINE. ok, you can have the left one but can I please have the right one? Ok you can have both, just don’t hurt me. No please don’t call security. Please?! Run.” Obviously I much prefer to avoid this scenario and…
2) Head to a Target in which the Target market/clientele has never heard of Missoni or Peter Pilotto (cuz I totally knew who he was before he came to Target). They are less likely to buy, much less be lined up and scratching on the door in anticipation of, your label obsessions on opening morning. As I am currently residing in Houston, I prefer Target’s Kemah location, and it’s down by the bay. It’s enormous and has only about 5 shoppers on-site at any given time, 1 of whom, is me.
3) Buy on-line. There’s nothing worse than having to get up early in the morning. If I have to go shopping at the crack of dawn, I much prefer to do so from the comforts of my most cherished possession, not counting my clothes– obviously those come first, my bed and accompanying pillows.
Follow these tips, and you won’t walk out of the store disappointed in either yourself of your lack of stuff. Moreover, it’s really important to set a good example for others: Take the opportunity to demonstrate both your skilled shopping habits and maturity (through your poise and good manners) when shopping in a) a store with no people (see #2, above) or b) a store with no people (#3, above). Put a lid on your crazy (by removing yourself from potential situations in which you might look bad) and continue to tell yourself you are a completely rational person. At all times. Because if I’ve learned one thing from society, it’s that it’s totally okay to be crazy. As long as nobody knows it.